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Chaplaincy in Palliative Care Settings

Next Reply: Re:Funeral/Memorial Services
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Post Funeral/Memorial Services
Author: MDempsey
Date: Aug 1, 2011 11:41 am
I need to know if other hospice chaplains perform funeral/memorial services, how often, on company time, etc. I am a hospice Chaplain and my patients are primarily in institutions. At times I get requests for services and due to several things, administration and I are having a BIG discussion as to whether or not this is a service we are going to provide.

Any information would be really helpful.

Thanks,

Chaplain Marsha Dempsey
Replies: order by [Date] [Author] [Subject]
Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by ReverendNana on 08/01/2011)
Hi Marsha, As a hospital chaplain I do funeral services for families. I work in a children's hospital, with pediatric palliative care and also with pregnancy loss. Often these families do not have a church and in my time with them I become their pastor and they trust me. Also for some of the unborn and NICU babies I have the advantage that many attending the service do not; I have seen and touched and even held the little one they are grieving. Many times there is no honorarium so it is considered work-related and therefore on company time. I have even used our hospital chapel for memorials. Weekends are on my personal time. We have talked in the past that if there is an hororarium and it is during work hours then it would be PTO hours. I feel it is giving complete pastoral care
+ Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by MDempsey on 08/02/2011)
Thanks for your information. It seems to word 'out there' is that hospice chaplains don't do memorial services. I feel that this is really wrong. When I was doing my CPE I did some services for families. I have been doing them for the past 3+ years. It feels really wrong to me to be told that I can no longer do them. I agree, some families really bond with you and to not be able to do this last thing for them would really be hurtful.

Thanks again,

Marsha
Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by ghandzo on 08/02/2011)
This is an important question to which I don't think there is a black and white answer. For better or worse, the families to whom we minister increasingly do not have a religious community they can turn to for a funeral or memorial services but that service is very important to them. It also is true that it is the chaplain who knows them best from a religious perspective. However, any one who has done a funeral knows that they often take a good part of a day if one factors in preparation and travel. If that means that 5 other families whose loved ones are very sick or dying do not receive chaplaincy care that day, is that a good trade? I would also like to discourage chaplains doing services like this on their own time. As helpful as that might be to the family, it is also yet another reason for the chaplain to ignore their own self care. We can't do it all.

This is another example of not having enough staffing to get the job done.

Thanks to Chaplain Dempsey for raising this important question.

The Rev. George Handzo, BCC
Vice President
Chaplaincy Care Leadership & Practice
New York, NY
Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by ChaplainSuz on 08/04/2011)
Marsha,
I am a hospice chaplain and it is in my job description that I will conduct memorial services/funerals at the family's request. As it was said, for many families we are the only spiritual care giver that they know. For others, just the fact that we have walked with them through this sacred time of transition forges a relationship that is different from any previous clergy context. A funeral is part of the pastoral care continuim. If your patients are primarily in institutions, then they are often geographically separated from their faith community or have been lost in pastoral changes. I can't imagine walking away from the family at the funeral home. The funeral is also a good transition to bereavement care.
When a funeral takes place on a weekend, it is up to the chaplain to do self care and take comp time.
Hope that this helps.
Susan
Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by Wayne on 08/20/2011)
There are pros and cons to doing funeral/memorial services as a chaplain, particularly as a hospice chaplain. One of the important aspects of the chaplaincy is to connect individuals to support systems in the community, including clergy and/or spiritual support systems and individuals. While there are exceptions, it seems to me that chaplains should not be routinely providing funeral and memorial services. The goal of chaplaincy is not bonding or developing our own following whether intentionally or by exception. Further, it is important to be aware of whose needs are really being met. Helpers, fixers, and rescuers are often caught in the snares of self service, meeting personal needs. I believe administration is correcct in setting appropriate service boundaries.
Re:Funeral/Memorial Services (by Wayne on 08/20/2011)
There are pros and cons to doing funeral/memorial services as a chaplain, particularly as a hospice chaplain. One of the important aspects of the chaplaincy is to connect individuals to support systems in the community, including clergy and/or spiritual support systems and individuals. While there are exceptions, it seems to me that chaplains should not be routinely providing funeral and memorial services. The goal of chaplaincy is not bonding or developing our own following whether intentionally or by exception. Further, it is important to be aware of whose needs are really being met. Helpers, fixers, and rescuers are often caught in the snares of self service, meeting personal needs. I believe administration is correcct in setting appropriate service boundaries.

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